The wheels of life are turning so much faster… I was reminded of that lyric from a Gino Vannelli tune this morning. All to say that the business and the busyness of life can blur our attention to so many important things. A couple of those came into focus for me this past weekend.
Carolyn and I had the privilege of attending the IG Walk for Alzheimer’s on Saturday, followed by the MS Walk on Sunday. My role as Mayor brings me to all corners of our community, to support all kinds of causes, and often serves as a powerful reminder of the challenges people face when coping with chronic illness.
To state the obvious: both of these diseases diminish people's ability to enjoy life fully—and both are, as yet, incurable.
I was encouraged to see the turnout on the weekend. Volunteers, sponsors, the media and the people living with these conditions all coming together in hope and support. An incredible showing of community at its best and very impactful.
What impacted me most, however, was the role of caregivers—especially family caregivers.
At both events, I had the opportunity to meet a few caregivers. Two in particular stood out: both were husbands whose wives were living with serious illness—one with Alzheimer’s, the other with multiple sclerosis. Both men were humble, almost reluctant, in accepting any recognition for their extraordinary care. One had been caregiving for 25 years; the other, “only” 12.
I invite us to pause for a moment to consider what that level of sacrifice and love entails. I’m sure most of us have nursed a child, or a spouse or friend through an extended recovery period.
For most of us it’s a few months in duration and the prognosis most often is recovery. There are others, however, with a far longer duration of care and the prognosis is chronic, sometimes terminal. Those are the people I met this past weekend. Those are the unsung heroes.
I’m sure you know some of these unsung heroes. You may be one of them! They quietly answer the call to care, putting their own lives aside for the sake of a struggling loved one. “I’m taking care of Mom now.” “Dad’s going to need more help.” “It’s not getting better.” “I’m so tired, but it’s okay.” “One day at a time.” These are just a few of the things caregivers say—or hear—every day.
Over the past few days, I’ve done some reading about the realities caregivers face. Here are just a few of the challenges:
- Isolation – Caregivers can feel cut off from their communities and friends.
- Stress – The weight of being on call 24/7, responsible for the health and safety of a loved one, is immense.
- Finances – Health plans often don’t cover the many extras and lifestyle adjustments required.
- Emotional toll – The emotional demands are deep and varied.
- Finding balance – Caregivers struggle to maintain their own personal lives under the weight of their responsibilities.
There are many more challenges—and each caregiving journey is unique. So, what can we do, dear Red Deerians?
If you are a caregiver and are feeling overwhelmed: please reach out. There are local supports available—like the Canadian Mental Health Association, the Golden Circle, the Alzheimer Society, the MS Society, the Canadian Cancer Society, and many faith communities. You are not alone.
If you know a caregiver, give them your care. Visit. Listen. Offer a hand to hold, a meal, a gift card, or a heartfelt note. Tell them, “I care about you.” There’s no single perfect way to help—just be sincere, and present.
I’m in a hurry to get things done. I rush and rush until life’s no fun. All I really gotta do is live and die, but I’m in a hurry and don’t know why…. I thought I would choose another song’s lyrics, this one from “Alabama”. Let’s not be so rushed that we miss the essence of relationship which is love of neighbor.
Let’s become more aware that behind the person with the diagnosis is a caregiver. Let’s also remember that caregiver can be employees who rapidly become a family member. They bear many of the same stresses endured by the biological family.
Whatever the status, caregivers need and deserve our support for their sacrifice and extraordinary care.
To all the caregivers: we see you, we thank you, and we stand with you.
Until next time my dear Red Deerians.